I realize I am afraid of love because I don’t trust love or I don’t trust anyone enough to allow them to love me. My trust issues run deep and it originates from when I was six, when I trusted my uncle to be my uncle and he raped me. Now I somehow feel everyone who says they love me is out to get me in some sort of way. If someone tells me they love me, I don’t believe them; I just think they’re trying to use me for their own gain. Maybe my picker is off, maybe I choose guys I can’t trust on purpose as a defense mechanism. Lord can you teach me how to trust again?
I heard my inner voice say, “Trust comes from first learning how to trust yourself. Trust yourself to be vulnerable, trust yourself to be loved, and trust that even if you get hurt you will heal.”
~Conversations with myself