The only reason I’m with you is because I know I can’t have you, because if I could have you I probably wouldn’t want you.
the cycle continues.
I realize I am afraid of love because I don’t trust love or I don’t trust anyone enough to allow them to love me. My trust issues run deep and it originates from when I was six, when I trusted my uncle to be my uncle and he raped me. Now I somehow feel everyone who says they love me is out to get me in some sort of way. If someone tells me they love me, I don’t believe them; I just think they’re trying to use me for their own gain. Maybe my picker is off, maybe I choose guys I can’t trust on purpose as a defense mechanism. Lord can you teach me how to trust again?
I heard my inner voice say, “Trust comes from first learning how to trust yourself. Trust yourself to be vulnerable, trust yourself to be loved, and trust that even if you get hurt you will heal.”
~Conversations with myself
Sometimes we can get complacent, even though we know success is coming, even when we believe in the change we see happening before our very eyes, but I heard an inner voice tell me to push, and to prepare for what’s coming. Sometimes our visions overwhelm us, sometimes it could be more than we bargained for, but don’t dwell on it, just push. Sometimes we get discouraged because of lil setbacks, but don’t let it distract you, don’t let it get you down, just push, and prepare. It’s like you’re in labour, and you’re giving birth to your dreams, ideas, and visions, but don’t stop pushing, don’t stop dreaming, don’t stop working, push!!! You’re already pregnant; you can’t look back now, the baby is coming, push. You nurtured the vision with your life, wrote it down with your time, planned step by step action with your thoughts, so now it’s time to push, the vision’s coming to pass, everything you dreamed, prayed and asked for…just push!!!!
Conversations with God~
“We are not all meant to be the same, act the same, think the same, or believe the same things, the faster we can accept this in love and unity, the better off humanity will be”
“There will always be obstacles to overcome in life; hurdles to our success, I pray that You give me the wisdom to prioritize, and the strength to choose me, choose my purpose, choose my path.”